August, 2015

This installment of “This Month in Pun” is brought to you by Pun psychotherapist Sue Pareego. Thinking of getting help from a psychotherapist? Dr. Pareego says, “Let me know what you have in mind.” Her office in at 4 Honor Couchive Ln. in Pun City.

August 1-31: For the entire month of August, the Dog Days celebration takes place in Baskerville in northwestern Pun. Baskerville is widely known as the dog-breeding capital of the island. Many breeds of dogs, found only on Pun, originated here, including the the Allyn Shepherd, the Penny Pinscher, the Johnathon Livingstone Beagle, the Beemiup Scottie, the Angela Basset, and the Jimmy Crack Cairn. Many activities are planned and include free trips across the Bay of DeHounds on the Hounds Tooth Ferry. The festivities conclude on the 31st with the National Dog Show finals and the naming of the Best Dog in Show, won for two years in a row by Perro, an Habla Spaniel. Another highlight of the show is the customery singing of the puppy judges song, “I’m Going to Sit Right Down and Rate Myself a Litter.”

August 1-2: Nachos Island, off Pun’s southers coast, hosts the Chili con Carnival, with its chili cooking competition. Last year, a new category – Hot and Sole – was added to introduce fish chili to the competition and was a big success. Commemorative T-shirts of the cook-off are available and feature the carnival slogan, “Bean There – Downed That.”

August 15-16: Courtens Park in Pun City is the site of this year’s National Kiss-Off, where couples kiss and try to be the last one off the buss. Once again, the competition’s festivities include romantic poetry recitations by Pun’s Poet Laureate Wordsworth Reading, and love songs sung by Spanish songstress Bessie Mae Mucho.

This Month’s Featured City: Kukuborough, Pun’s famed “City of the Cuckoos,” is named after a brightly-plumed bird that eats nothing but nuts and bananas. The city is the television and motion picture capital of Pun. All of Pun’s major film companies are located here, including Original Cinema, Sope Films, Chizzelt Features, and Cinema Beach. Tours of all the studios are available.
Kukuborough began as a relatively quiet farming community in the mid-1800’s; it’s only claim to fame was that it was the birthplace of Briggs N. Stratton, founder of Honest Engine, one of Pun’s largest manufacturers of farming equipment. But all that changed in 1913 when entrepreneur Richard Famous (also known as “Movie Dick”) built his Original Cineme studio. As it turned out, Movie Dick was no fluke. During the next fifty years, he produced hundreds of successful motion pictures such as Tequila Mockingbird, The Sound of Muzak, From Her to Paternity,and Conan the Librarian, to name but a few.
Because of the glitter and glamor of the film industry, Kukuborough has emerged as the island’s trend setter. Every new fad seems to begin here, every new wrinkle in fashion, every drift in current thinking. The city is home to The Donut Center for Holistic Philosophy and The Lickwood Center for Pop Cyclical Studies.
In addition to the studio tours, many other of Kukuborough sites attract tourists. Start with Shuttuppen Drive, Kukuborough’s famous “Strip,” lined with restaurants, nightclubs, and specialty gift shops that cater to the expensive tastes of the city’s jet set. The fine jewelry store, Stiffany’s is here as well as high-end clothiers such as Socks, Fifth Avenue.
Head north on Shuttuppen Drive, turn right on DeMoney and suddenly you’re in Bubbly Hills, the city’s elite neighborhood of of palatial homes and well-manicured lawns. For most tourists, Bubbly Hills is the first step on the champagne tour of Kukuborough. Drive through, take a guided tour, or just walk through the neighborhood on a leisurely star trek.
Another of Kukuborough’s famous locales is Sunny Tufts, the city’s memorial cemetery. It is the last resting place of many of Pun’s noted film stars who are able to spend eternity as they did in the major parts of their reel lives, immersed in shallow half-baked plots.
Don’t leave Kukuborough without visiting Maymen Mall, the largest shopping center in Pun, featuring over 350 shops. There is something for everyone at Maymen Mall. Phil’s Harmonics is a classical music store, the Peek-A-Boutique features lingerie, antique clocks are available at A Show of Hands, big and tall fashions can be found at Hugh Monga’s and Fat Chance, maternity wear at Frocked Up, flowers at Orlando Blooms, footwear at Bruce Wade Shoes and Das Boot, and home furnishings at Sue Cossa.
Looking for a fun place to eat? Try The Brown Hurby-Curby. This little restaurant, shaped like a little brown refuse container, is famous as a celebrity meeting place. The back room of the establishment is where noted actress Lotta Cleavage was discovered. It is also the site of the death of well-known actor Roman Hands, with whom Lotta was discovered. The foods are plantiful, rich and famous. Try the Kevin Bacon, Lorne Greens, Okra Winfrey, Anne Rice, and the Rocky Road ice cream, replete with Chuckberries and Gregg Almonds.