This installment of “This Month In Pun” is brought to you by The Dropped Leaf, which proclaims “We specialize in distressed furniture. See us for ruptured desks, dented canopies, loose stools, and game-legged card tables.” Located at the corner of Olde and Wirthless, on The Battery in Point Spread, Pun.
Big News! The discoverers of Pun, Hugo Yurway and Al Gomine, will be at the Market Days Fair in Tallahassee, Florida on December 6 and 7, selling pun maps and guidebooks. They hope to see you there!
December 1-7: The Christmas season rolls in this week and all eyes turn to DeKingand I, a heavily forested island south of pun. It is from this island that Pun’s yule trees are harvested. All this week, people clog Pun’s seaports to catch sight of the Yule Bringer, the ship that ferries the special cargo to the mainland. Check local listings for details on delivery dates and times.
December 6-7: The D’Jubilee ‘n’ Magic festival is held this weekend in Pun City. A kind of Renaissance Music Fair, the festival showcases the music of Johann Sebastian, who originated a new musical style when he baroque his harpsichord. His mote noteworthy composition, the magical “Opus Pocus” is usually a festival high point. If you are looking for a good place to eat while attending the festival, take the thyme to eat at Lost in Spice, run by Australians Basil and Rosemary Peppercorn. The menu is overflowing with Basil’s original recipes, which led one restaurant reviewer to say, “I’ve never cinnamon with such talent. It does nutmeg any difference which dish you order, alum are superb. You won’t bay leaf the quality.” One taste and you’ll know what he mint. Cumin get it.
There are, of course, many seasonal events across the island this month. Many people head for eastern Pun and the Mary Carr Isthmus, which throughout the year offers a little something for everyone. It features a fairly large town, marshlands, a quiet harbor, mountains, and an offshore deep sea fishing area which are, respectively, Fort Collinburg, Three French Fen, Two Turtle Cove, Anna Peart Ridge, Anna Peart Reef, plus a spectacular view of the gulf from Lordsa Leap. All through December, there is a special yuletide festival in Fort Collinburg sponsored by clothing manufacturer Donna Gay Apparel, whose corporate headquarters are in the city. And for those who like local legends, actors re-create the activities associated with “The Ghost of Isthmus Pass,” who is said to haunt the area’s main highway at the bridge over Bah Canal. While in the area, be sure to take in the free tour of one of the island’s largest distilleries, Isthmus Spirits.
December 19: A long awaited novel will be released today at bookstores throughout Pun. Catching the killer of female bootblack Bess Foote Forwart is the task for private eye Doyle M. Fermerder in the new Juan Moore/Stephanie Getzit mystery Ain’t No Shoeshine When She’s Gone. Set in the Pun town of Doctor Shoals, the story gains considerable atmosphere from the city’s sordid history as a refuge for footpads, loafers, and arch-villains. Moore and Getzit use this atmosphere as they take the reader on an exhilarating chase, hot on the killer’s trail, from the back alleys of Doctor Shoals to a military boot camp on the Foote Steppes. You’ll have to read the book yourself to find out if Fermerder catches the villainous heel and brings him to an appropriate end (i.e. taps).
December 31: Along with people around the world, Punsters will be ringing in the new year at midnight. The traditional song sung at the moment the clock strikes twelve celebrates the story of Doodle Lang, an old mountain bootlegger who would stand on the top of his house and, at midnight, toss jugs of his ‘mountain dew” moonshine to the revelers who had gathered below. Lang would post a large sign in nearby villages, inviting people to his house for the celebration. The “Dew Drop” has become a tradition celebrated across the island, albeit now with trinkets and candies instead of liquor. The familiar lyrics of the song begin, “There is a man who’s name is Lang and he has a great big sign/ And Mr. Lang is very old, so they call it Old Lang’s Sign.”
Happy Holidays everyone!