This installment of “This Month in Pun” is brought to you by By The Rules Kindergarten. Located at 4-2 Teechum Well, Willburgh, Pun, By The Rules excels in “conservative education for young children, provided by our fine teaching staff: Cher Withothers, Dawn Fyte, Ray Sirhan, Donnie DePaste, Myna U. Manners, and Nefertiti Honda Floor.”
February 2: It’s Garrand Aug Day in Pun, named for a French-born Punster who lives in Boogen Villa. Each February 2, Mssr. Aug walks down onto the foggy shore of Safen Sound and looks back toward his home. Legend states that if he can see his chateau, Pun’s winter will continue another six weeks. Large crowds and media representatives gather every year to learn of his prediction and the children have even made up a rhyme about it. “Mssr. Aug, into the fog/He walks on down and enters/Turns and, oh! sees his chateau/Six more weeks of winter.”
February 7-8: The cannibal tribes of Buttin’s Key host the Beauty and the Feast pageant this weekend, when the pageant’s beauties are ceremoniously wined and dined on. If you get there late, don’t be surprised if everybody’s eaten. The island’s premier rock band, the Cannibals will kick off their Pun tour with a concert Saturday night. (See below for more information on this tour.)
February 9-13:February 13-15: The annual Widow’s Peak Ski Festival takes place this weekend at (where else?) Widow’s Peak in central Pun. Also known as Haff Bald, this mountain offers some of the best skiing on the island. Downhill runs range from the comfortable and conservative (Horsencair Ridge and Jahn Glen) to the downright dangerous (Fool’s Rush, , Balder Dash, and Ski Daddle).
February 22:The Pun United Television Reviewers’ Index of Decency (P.U.T.R.I.D.) Awards are presented annually in February from the Carney and Garfunkle Center For the Performing Arts to honor Pun television programs that the reveiewers feel exemplify high standards of writing and production. Nominated for Best Program this year are:
Tree’s Company: A female environmentalist tree-hugger falls in love with a big chestnut. PUTRID Award winning episode: Commitment in the relationship is addressed in “Sure, You Love Me Now, But in the Spring, You’ll Leave.”
Route 666: Two devil-may-care wanderers travel the countryside, bargaining for people’s souls. PUTRID Award winning episode: the season opener, “Hell on Wheels.”
Fiends: This program explores the relationships among six young monsters who gather together to discuss life and love. PUTRID Award winning episode: Three of the gang skip their graveyard shift jobs to go out on the town in “Ghouls’ Night Out.”
February 7 – April 30: The Cannibals rock band will be on tour through April in support of their second CD Scrambled Legs., which comes on the heels of their well received first offering Hominy Minuet?. This tour continues in the same stomach-acid rock vein with concert highlights including “Eat Your Heart Out,” “Toe Jam,” “Fifty Ways to Love Your Liver,” “Pulling Your Leg,” “I Want to Hold Your Gland,” “Chew the Fat,” and “Bone to Pick With You,” Their concerts are marked by frenzied performances and fine instrumentation. The Cannibals can cook!