February, 2016

This installment of “This Month in Pun” is brought to you by Criminal Attorney, Gil T. Verdick. Boasting 10 years experience before the bar and 20 years behind them, Verdick claims to know the judicial and legal systems inside and out. Contact Verdick at #436786, Block D, Ball Point Penitentiary, Punta De Ball, Pun.

February 2: It’s Garrand Aug Day in Pun, named for a French-born Punster who lives in Boogen Villa. Each February 2, Mssr. Aug walks down onto the foggy shore of Safen Sound and looks back toward his home. Legend states that if he can see his chateau, Pun’s winter will continue another six weeks. Large crowds and media representatives gather every year to learn of his prediction and the children have even made up a rhyme about it. “Mssr. Aug, into the fog/He walks on down and enters/Turns and, oh! sees his chateau/Six more weeks of winter.”

February 6-7: The cannibal tribes of Buttin’s Key host the Beauty and the Feast pageant this weekend, when the pageant’s beauties are ceremoniously wined and dined on. If you get there late, don’t be surprised if everybody’s eaten.

February 8-14:February 12-14: The annual Widow’s Peak Ski Festival takes place this weekend at (where else?) Widow’s Peak in central Pun. Also known as Haff Bald, this mountain offers some of the best skiing on the island. Downhill runs range from the comfortable and conservative (Horsencair Ridge and Jahn Glen) to the downright dangerous (Fool’s Rush, Balder Dash, and Ski Daddle).

February 21:The Pun United Television Reviewers’ Index of Decency (P.U.T.R.I.D.) Awards are presented annually in February from the Carney and Garfunkle Center For the Performing Arts to honor Pun television programs that the reviewers feel exemplify high standards of writing and production. Nominated for Best Program this year are:
Morgue and Mindy: An extraterrestrial is befriended by a young girl and lands a job at a medical examiner’s office. PUTRID Award episode nominee: The M.E.’s office faces layoffs in “Cutting Coroners.”
Wide, Wide Waist: The tales of 400 pound frontier agent Kilton Udderhors. PUTRID Award episode nominee: Udderhors intervenes in the Slewfoot Sioux tribe’s plans to stage a hunger strike unless their lands are returned to them in “It Is a Good Day to Diet.”
Mr. Id: The adventures of a talking horse who’s a horse with no remorse. PUTRID Award episode nominee: In “Sex Drive,” Mr Id is caught trying to enter a neighbor’s Pinto.