February, 2017

This installment of “This Month in Pun” is brought to you by the Lottle Oven Company. Whether you’re building a new house or remodeling an old one, remember that “It takes a Lottle Oven to make a house a home.” Located at 2-4 Evermore, Bedd Springs, Pun.

February 2: It’s Garrand Aug Day in Pun, named for a French-born Punster who lives in Boogen Villa. Each February 2, Mssr. Aug walks down onto the foggy shore of Safen Sound and looks back toward his home. Legend states that if he can see his chateau, Pun’s winter will continue another six weeks. Large crowds and media representatives gather every year to learn of his prediction and the children have even made up a rhyme about it. “Mssr. Aug, into the fog/He walks on down and enters/Turns and, oh! sees his chateau/Six more weeks of winter.”

February 4-5: The cannibal tribes of Buttin’s Key host the Beauty and the Feast pageant this weekend, when the pageant’s beauties are ceremoniously wined and dined on. If you get there late, don’t be surprised if everybody’s eaten.

February 6-12:February 11-12: The annual Widow’s Peak Ski Festival takes place this weekend at (where else?) Widow’s Peak in central Pun. Also known as Haff Bald, this mountain offers some of the best skiing on the island. Downhill runs range from the comfortable and conservative (Horsencair Ridge and Jahn Glen) to the downright dangerous (Fool’s Rush, Balder Dash, and Ski Daddle).

February 19:The Pun United Television Reviewers’ Index of Decency (P.U.T.R.I.D.) Awards are presented annually in February from the Carney and Garfunkle Center For the Performing Arts to honor Pun television programs that the reviewers feel exemplify high standards of writing and production. Nominated for Best Program this year are:
We Love Fortune: A game show in which contestants try to earn big money gathering body parts for patients who need transplants. PUTRID Award Winning Episode: A contestant, Proctologist Ben Dover, buys a bowel in “You Never Sausage a Mess.”
Punsmoke: Pun’s wild frontier days come alive in tales of Marshall-turned-film star Wyatt Ondeset. PUTRID Award Winning Episode: Wyatt thwarts the Auer Gang’s plans to rob a bank in “Stymied.”
Disgrace the Nation: Each week, a different government official confesses to some sordid tryst with one of his or her staff in this public affairs program from the nation’s capitol. PUTRID Award Winning Episode: Parliament member Hera Heer is caught on videotape with her legal assistant in “Laying Down the Law.”