February, 2018

This installment of “This Month in Pun” is brought to you by Abb Originals, specializing in Prehistoric Fashions. See Abb Originals for furs, pelts, bones, and teeth. They also feature stone washed jeans. They’ve been in the same location for 20,000 years at 327 Hunter’s Way, Iceburgh, Pun.

February 2: It’s Garrand Aug Day in Pun, named for a French-born Punster who lives in Boogen Villa. Each February 2, Mssr. Aug walks down onto the foggy shore of Safen Sound and looks back toward his home. Legend states that if he can see his chateau, Pun’s winter will continue another six weeks. Large crowds and media representatives gather every year to learn of his prediction and the children have even made up a rhyme about it. “Mssr. Aug, into the fog/He walks on down and enters/Turns and, oh! sees his chateau/Six more weeks of winter.”

February 3-4: The cannibal tribes of Buttin’s Key host the Beauty and the Feast pageant this weekend, when the pageant’s beauties are ceremoniously wined and dined on. If you get there late, don’t be surprised if everybody’s eaten.

February 5-11:February 17-18: The annual Widow’s Peak Ski Festival takes place this weekend at (where else?) Widow’s Peak in central Pun. Also known as Haff Bald, this mountain offers some of the best skiing on the island. Downhill runs range from the comfortable and conservative (Horsencair Ridge and Jahn Glen) to the downright dangerous (Fool’s Rush, Balder Dash, and Ski Daddle).

February 20:The Pun United Television Reviewers’ Index of Decency (P.U.T.R.I.D.) Awards are presented annually in February from the Carney and Garfunkle Center For the Performing Arts to honor Pun television programs that the reviewers feel exemplify high standards of writing and production. Nominated for Best Program this year are:
Buffy the Umpire Slayer: A high school cheerleader chases down and kills blood-thirsty umpires who officiate the school’s baseball games and prey on students. PUTRID Award Nominated Episode: Buffy tracks an umpire to a church steeple where he’s been hiding stolen sports equipment in “Bats in the Belfry.”
Downtown Tabby: A high-society feline detective, Tabby Rhode, prowls the city at night, thwarting cat burglars and other criminals. PUTRID Award Nominated Episode: A three-legged American Short-Hair felon that Tabby once seriously wounded confronts Tabby in a bar in “I’m Looking For the Man Who Shot My Paw.”
South Pork: An animated series about four friends who operate a ramshackle southern BBQ restaurant. PUTRID Award Nominated Two-Part Episode:(Part One) Stan finds that someone has installed top-of-the-line kitchen appliances in the restaurant in “What’s a Nice Grill Like You Doing In a Joint Like This?” and (Part Two) Stan finds a rotten hog leg in one of his new kitchen appliances in “What’s a Joint Like This Doing in a Nice Grill Like You?”