This installment of “This Month on Pun” is brought to you by the Y. D. Wake Sleep Disorder Clinic. The Y. D. Wake Center is open 24 hours a day and located at 1847 Countsheep Run (next to Fitfulse Lumber) in Fort Ewinks, Pun. The Center’s Director is Lollie Bye.
As autumn begins on the islands of Pun and the Free Associations, the weather begins to turn foul. High winds, known as the Fish Gales, blow across the region, producing a wholly mackerel sky. High level storm clouds, comprised of whirled cirrus, bring baseball-sized hail. There is usually a two-week respite from the steadily declining temperatures. This period of “Indian Summer” is accompanied by Apache Fog.
August 31-September 6:The first week in September is designated as “Gnu’s Week” on Pun, which is celebrated annually to honor Pun’s national symbols, Goode Gnus.See local sources for celebration details for each community.
September 5-6: The Common Coal Festival is held in the Gesund Heights in Central Pun. The festival consists of displays of mountain arts and crafts, many of which are made with the wood of trees indigenous to the area such as the Aw-Aw Cashew. Also on display are coal industry exhibits which attempt to demonstrate that the importance of coal to the economy is nothing to sneeze at.
September 5: College football kicks off in the Tydee Bowl in Pun City as Wotsamadda U hosts cross-town rival Joe College. In other games of interest, Possum plays Dedd, Bachelor plays DeField, Thom Sawyer plays Hooky, Model battles Anna Rexia, and Whole Country goes to Helena Hanbasket. In addition, due to a scheduling error, Titanic finds itself playing two games this weekend; first Titanic meets Iceburgh and then takes on Wadder.
September 20-26: Santa Lucia, on Pun’s west coast, is host to the Maiden Fair, which runs through the entire week. The highlight of this Renaissance-style fair is the “Joust Between Friends,” which gives fair-goers a pointed reminder of what Pun life was like during the island’s feudal period.
September 27-October3: The “Pirate Days Festival” is held in the southern Pun City of Seville to commemorate the city’s history as a pirate base in the late 1700’s. The pirate influence on Seville remains evident even today. The homes of pirates Long John Undaweir and Cap’n Gown still stand and are open for tours during the festival. At Booty Rest, a local cemetery where pirates were said to have buried some of their treasures, lie the remains of James Teach, alleged cousin of Edward Teach, who was known as Blackbeard. James Teach was known as Blackboard and also Jungle Jim. The festival is held near the Old Harbor Market, which is preserved as it was in its heyday when plunder from pirate raids – foods wines, cloth, and jewels – was sold openly at exorbitant prices. Pirate corn, for example, was a buccaneer. Looking for a place to stay while in Seville for the festival? Try the Poopdeck Hotel. Many of the inns and hotels in Seville have adopted a nautical motif, reflective of the city’s history as a pirate base. The Poopdeck does it up big. The tip-hungry bellhops are all dressed in sailor suits (wolves in ship’s clothing), the restrooms off the lobby are labelled “Buoys” and “Gulls,” and each guest’s room features a live parrot on a stand, which probably explains the hotel’s name. Even local floozies parade through the lobby dressed as pirates (Yo-Ho-‘Ho’s”), which in turn, explains why the hotel was originally know as the Admiral Bimbo Inn. Just across the street from the Poopdeck is The Pirate’s Blade, a restaurant where tasty food and good service provide an edge over the local competition. The house specialties are the swordfish and veal cutlass.