September

This installment of “This Month on Pun” is brought to you by I. M. Dunn Finishing School. When people ask you where you are going to further your education, tell them I. M. Dunn. Located in cities across Pun.

As autumn begins on the Islands of Pun and the Free Associations, the weather begins to turn foul. High winds, known as the Fish Gales, blow across the region, producing a wholly mackerel sky. High-level storm clouds, comprised of whirled cirrus, bring baseball-sized hail. There is usually a two-week respite from the steadily declining temperatures This period of “Indian Summer” is accompanied by Apache fog.

August 31 – September 6: The first week in September is designated as “Gnu’s Week” on Pun, which is celebrated annually to honor Pun’s national symbols, Goode Gnus.” See local sources for celebration details for each community. This year’s national slogan is “Goode Gnus – For the Time of Your Life.”

September 7-8: The Common Coal Festival is held in the Gesund Heights in central Pun. The festival consists of displays of mountain arts and crafts, many of which are made with the wood from trees that are indigenous to the area, the Aw-Aw Cashews Also on display are coal industry exhibits which attempt to demonstrate that the importance of coal to the economy is nothing to sneeze at.

September 22-29: Santa Lucia, on Pun’s west coast is host to the Maiden Fair, which runs through the entire week. The highlight is this Renaissance-style festival is the “Joust Between Friends” which gives fair-goers a pointed reminder of what Pun life was like during the island’s feudal period.

September 9: College football kicks off in the Tydee Bowl in Pun City as Joe College hosts crosstown rival Wotsamadda U. In other noteworthy games this week, it’s Luna Tech vs. Brigham Down, Frenzeed State goes up against Io U., DeOldman plays Checkers and Pavarotti plays DeMett.

September 22-28: The “Pirate Days Festival is held in the southern Pun city of Seville to commemorate the city’s history as a pirate base in the late 1700’s. The pirate influence on Seville remains evident even today. The homes of pirates Long John Undaweir and Cap’n Gown still stand and are open for tours during the festival. At Booty Rest, a local cemetery where pirates were said to have buried some of their treasures, lie the remains of another pirate, James Teach. alleged cousin of Edward Teach, commonly known as Blackbeard. James Teach was known as Blackboard and also Jungle Jim. The festival is held near the Old Harbor Market, which is preserved as it was in its heyday when plunder from pirate raids – food, wines, cloth, and jewels – was sold openly at exorbitant prices. Pirate corn, for example, was a buccaneer. Looking for a good meal while at the festival? Try The Pirate’s Blade, where tasty food and good service give the restaurant an edge over the competition. The house specialties are the swordfish and veal cutlass.