This installment of “This Month In Pun” is brought to you by The Dropped Leaf, specializing in distressed furniture, featuring ruptured desks, dented canopies, loose stools, game-legged card tables, and much more. Located at the corner of Olde and Wirthless, on The Battery, Point Spread, Pun.
BIG NEWS! The discoverers of Pun, Hugo Yurway and Al Gomine, will be at the Market Days Fair in Tallahassee, Florida on December 7 and 8, selling pun maps and guidebooks. They hope to see you there!
December 1-7: The Christmas season rolls in this week and all eyes turn to DeKingand I., a heavily forested island south of pun. It is from this island that Pun’s yule trees are harvested. All this week, people clog Pun’s seaports to catch sight of the Yule Bringer, the ship that ferries the special cargo to the mainland. Check local listings for details on delivery dates and times.
December 7-8: The D’Jubilee ‘n’ Magic festival is held this weekend in Pun City. A kind of Renaissance Music Fair, the festival showcases the music of Johann Sebastian, who originated a new musical style when he baroque his harpsichord. His most noteworthy composition, the magical “Opus Pocus” is usually a festival high point. If you are looking for a good restaurant while attending the festival, try Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Measure for measure, this is old English cuisine served as you like it. Start with MacBroth, add Julius Caesar Salad, Romanov and Juliennes, Merchant of Venison and, for dessert, Oh! Jello! What foods these morsels be!
All month: There are, of course, many seasonal events across the island this month. Many people head for eastern Pun and the Mary Carr Isthmus, which throughout the year offers a little something for everyone. It features a fairly large town, marshlands, a quiet harbor, mountains, and an offshore deep sea fishing area which are, respectively, Fort Collinburg, Three French Fen, Two Turtle Cove, Anna Peart Ridge, Anna Peart Reef, plus a spectacular view of the gulf from Lordsa Leap. All through December, there is a special yuletide festival in Fort Collinburg sponsored by clothing manufacturer Donna Gay Apparel, whose corporate headquarters are in the city. And for those who like local legends, actors re-create the activities associated with “The Ghost of Isthmus Pass,” who is said to haunt the area’s main highway at the bridge over Bah Canal. While in the area, be sure to take in the free tour of one of the island’s largest distilleries, Isthmus Spirits.
December 14: The regular college football season is over but the championship game is played this date at Pun City’s Tydee Bowl and the whole island is flush with excitement. The game pits (No. 2) Pennsyl versus Puplick-Ennemie (No. 1).
December 31: Along with people around the world, Punsters will be ringing in the new year at midnight. The traditional song sung at the moment the clock strikes twelve celebrates the story of Doodle Lang, an old mountain bootlegger who would stand on the top of his house and, at midnight, toss jugs of his ‘mountain dew” moonshine to the revelers who had gathered below. Lang would post a large sign in nearby villages, inviting people to his house for the celebration. The midnight “Dew Drop” has become a tradition celebrated across the island, albeit now with trinkets and candies instead of liquor. The familiar lyrics of the song begin, “There is a man who’s name is Lang/ And he has a great big sign/ And Mr. Lang is very old, / So they call it Old Lang’s Sign.”
Happy holidays, everybody.
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