February, 2023

This installment of “This Month in Pun” is brought to you by Hogs and Quiches restaurant in Back Bend, Pun.  Owner Hope Takissa Bigg says, “We offer an unusual combination of culinary specialties.  Our BBQ pork and quiche dishes are expertly and affectionately prepared.”

February 2: It’s Garrand Aug Day in Pun, named for a French-born Punster who lives in Boogen Villa. Each February 2, Mssr. Aug walks down onto the foggy shore of Safen Sound and looks back toward his home. Legend states that if he can see his chateau, Pun’s winter will continue another six weeks. Large crowds and media representatives gather every year to learn of his prediction and the children have even made up a rhyme about it. “Mssr. Aug, into the fog/He walks on down and enters/Turns and, oh! sees his chateau/Six more weeks of winter.”

February 4-5: The cannibal tribes of Buttin’s Key host the Beauty and the Feast pageant this weekend, when the pageant’s beauties are ceremoniously wined and dined on. If you get there late, don’t be surprised if everybody’s eaten.

February 6-12: The Railroad Days Festival is celebrated at Pun-Sylvania Station in Pun City. The story of Pun-Sylvania station is largely the story of one man, one of Pun’s greatest successes, railroad tycoon Chevalle D. Coal. The son of a shipping magnate, Cole found himself attracted to the steel rails even as a young boy when he accompanied his father on extensive business trips across Pun. While his father conducted business, Cole would station himself at the local rail depot, learning all he could from the employees about life on the railroads. At age 18, Cole got a job as an assistant clerk for the Maccabee Line in eastern Pun. Here he found that his early observations served him well. He rose quickly through the administrative ranks. By age 21, he was a Junior Vice-President with the company and had saved enough for a small down payment on a rail line of his own, the Wiss Spur. Even at this point in his young career, Cole’s ambitions and goals were clear. He saw Pun as a land of unlimited potential. “Pun is a wonderland,” he once stated. “And in a wonderland, even a cabbage can be King. That’s Cole’s Law.”
Cole set out to be the King of Pun’s rail lines. He believed he would be an old man before he achieved his goal. But starting with just one short line, he bought up other small, failing railroads and turned them into money-makers. Soon the other rail tycoons were reading the writing on the wall. Within ten short years, Cole had built magnificent Pun-Sylvania Station as his corporate headquarters in Pun City. He had gained control of every rail line in Pun – a veritable monopoly.
Even though he was a millionaire, Old King Cole (as he was affectionately known to Punsters) was a decent, benevolent man. He was especially loved by his employees. Cole engineers, conductors, firemen and brakemen considered it an honor to work for him. Even Cole porters sang his praises.
Today, Pun-Sylvania Station stands as a glass and steel testament to Cole’s vision and determination. The Railroad Days Festival is held in collaboration with the railroad museum located just off the main hall. Nineteenth century railroad cars and vintage locomotives and Cole memorabilia will be on display and there are games and rides for the kids, with free ice cream from the Toot-Sweet Creamery.

February 18-19: The annual Widow’s Peak Ski Festival takes place this weekend at (where else?) Widow’s Peak in central Pun. Also known as Haff Bald, this mountain offers some of the best skiing on the island. Downhill runs range from the comfortable and conservative (Horsencair Ridge, Snow Big Deal, and Jahn Glen) to the downright dangerous (Fool’s Rush, Balder Dash, and Ski Daddle).

All Month:  The most famous restaurant on Santa Lucia (the Isle of Lucy) is Ig-Lou’s and it is offering discounted prices all through February.  Owned and operated by Iggy Ricardo and Lou Sealball, this converted ice house has a long history of fine food and unique atmosphere.  During the 1920’s, the cool, dark, recessed booths became a mecca for lovers and Ig-Lou’s soon became famous for its secret rendezvous and not so secret confrontations by angry wives who caught their husbands locked in frozen embraces with other women.  The phrase, “Who was that woman I thawed you with?” originated here.  The menu’s headline item is chili.

Speak Your Mind

*